Tweenage Wasteland


This article was written on 29 Jul 2013, and is filled under big time rush, carlos is the best one, for the win, I'm like this in real life, music, victoria justice, yes I saw them in concert.

Big Time Grownups Attend a Big Time Tour, Meet Boy Band, Freak Out

Oh, Tweenketeers. How we’ve neglected you! It’s just that Zac Efron has mostly been keeping his ridiculous face away from photographers, and also we have finally reached that age where new sitcoms that are mostly 12-year-olds in neon skinny jeans screaming at each other makes us raise our eyebrows and click over to Say Yes to the Dress. Aging is rough, folks, don’t let anyone tell you different.

But we still love Big Time Rush. Oh, how we still love Big Time Rush. Since this is probably the last season, album, and tour, we decided to spend our serious grown-up money on something we really wanted and see them in concert not once but twice last week, including VIP passes with a meet and greet.

Was it worth it? Heck yeah.

Grown-ass ladies.

Grown-ass ladies. Click to embiggen!

The thing about Big Time Rush is that despite being only about 75% good at singing and 50% good at dancing, they actually put on a really high-energy, entertaining show. (And to be fair, they have improved immensely at both singing and dancing over the past four years or so.) We saw them at Jones Beach and Mohegan Sun (actually, Becky also saw them in Atlanta, but it was during a monsoon so she didn’t see much), so here are a few scattered thoughts about the current tour:

1. Opening act #1, YouTube Sensation Jackson Guthy, wants to be Bieber so very badly, you guys. And though he is a decently talented dude, he is no Bieber. (Which may be for the best these days.) I couldn’t decide what irritated me more, his terrible drop-crotch nubbly pleather leggings, or the fact that he was determinedly flat throughout his entire set.

2. Opening act #2, YouTube Sensation (?) Olivia Somerlyn, was very pretty and had a very good voice but needs to work on her stage presence and banter. So talented and yet so awkward. Sigh.

3. The tour actually had Victoria Justice as the co-headliner (though she wasn’t at the Mohegan Sun show), and you guys, I kind of want to go back through the archives of this blog and write a little P.S. on all of our posts about her saying that we actually really like her now! Oh sure, Victorious was dreadful and I stand by that. And she’s not much of an actress. But she’s got a phenomenal voice, has worked her way up to a reasonable amount of stage presence, and is super charming (and crazy hot). Plus all of her songs are about how great she is and how she doesn’t have time for jerks, which, okay, I’m into it.

4. BTR no longer has a full band, just a DJ, which is laughably pathetic. That, combined with all the balloons, streamers, and confetti they dumped on the crowd, really made the whole thing feel like the world’s most spoiled 7-year-old’s birthday party. WHICH WAS AWESOME. Who doesn’t love a good birthday party?

5. All concerts should include trampoline gymnastics.

6. VIP passes get you into the “sound check,” which is not actually a sound check, just the guys (and Kendall’s Paid Best Friend Dustin) sitting around answering questions and playing a couple of acoustic songs). From this we learned that either Logan or Carlos is the best twerker, that Alexa Vega (who is dating Carlos and was on the road with them) recently had a dream about Kendall that Carlos couldn’t tell us about, and that Kendall’s helpless, embarrassed giggles are delightful. Also that Kendall enjoys the musical stylings of 98 Degrees, that James is funniest when he’s dryly, caustically sarcastic, and that Logan is hilarious and charming to the point of Becky’s utter devastation. Also also that they actually sound pretty great in a quiet acoustic setting. GOOD JOB, BOYS.

7. I would tell you about the Meet and Greet, but it’s just a confused daze of hugging James and glomming on to a startled Carlos and Becky staring helplessly at Logan and I guess Kendall was also there. But they were extremely sweet and extremely handsome, which is the most important thing. BOYS.

8. Scott Fellows was at the Mohegan Sun concert and we got to shake his hand and thank him for the show and that might’ve been the best part of all.

So yeah. This is probably their last hurrah as a band and as a show, which is sad because they are wildly entertaining and we love them. But if this has to be the end, it’s not a bad note to go out on at all. Thanks, boys.


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