Tweenage Wasteland


This article was written on 19 Oct 2008, and is filled under high school musical, la tizz.

Countdown to HSM3: Sharpay’s Top 10 Kick Assiest Moments

10. While playing golf, Sharpay almost kills Chad. Twice.
Jess: Now, we love Chad. But Sharpay’s gleeful sociopathy disguised as completely insincere clumsiness is hilarious. Could Gabriella get away with this shit? No, she could not.
Becky: Basically, Sharpay is a mastermind in sunglasses and heels, and part of the reason she kicks ass is simply how much fun she has when she wins.

9. You Are the Music In Me
Becky: And she’s a mastermind with vision, at that. Sharpay knows what she loves — upbeat numbers, lots of props, lots of dancing — and in this “duet” she puts that to work. She may want Troy, but he’s essentially just another prop.
Jess: Since Troy is essentially a cardboard cutout, it’s wonderful to see Sharpay treat him like one.

8. “Golly, Troy!” [Gabi impression]
Becky: There is nothing passive aggressive about Sharpay. She is refreshingly straight forward in her disdain for the rest of the student body.
Jess: It helps that her impression is dead on. (Troy’s plans for the summer include DOWNLOADING MUSIC, you guys. Somebody drown him.)

7. Sharpay signs up for auditions with a giant signature
Jess: It leaves pretty much no room for anyone else, which is fitting: after Sharpay, who else is there?
Becky: Anyone who joins drama will have to take a backseat to Sharpay, and she’d like for everyone to know that instantly. It’s amazing Gabriella made it through all of Twinkle Towne without a mystery assailant breaking her kneecaps, frankly.

6. Sharpay gives Ryan the Star Dazzle Award (even after he screws her over)
Jess: Okay, this isn’t Sharpay being gloriously bitchy. We have hearts, and we’re touched that while Sharpay loves herself, she loves her brother just as fiercely.
Becky: She may need the occasional reminder that Ryan is more than just her sidekick, and here we see that she does love him — and that she respects people who stand up to her.

5. While yelling at Troy: “Oh, we can all hold hands around the campfire later.” And also, “A duet is two people! In this case mostly me.”
Becky: Let’s face it: because she’s got so much more character than most other characters, Sharpay gets a lot of the best lines.
Jess: And again, her depiction of the shmaltzy all-in-this-together mentality of the other characters (oh, did you see what I did there?) is dead on.

4. Being higher than Ryan at the end of Bop to the Top
Jess: Yes, Sharpay loves her brother. No, she’s not going to let him outshine her.
Becky: Luckily, at least in this case, Ryan doesn’t mind. He’s too busy shaking his hips and ass.

3. “Everybody QUIET!”
Becky: Everyone — EVERYONE — does what Sharpay says.
Jess: What will happen if they don’t? We don’t know. But it will be TERRIBLE.

2. What I’ve Been Looking For
Jess: Sharpay (and Ryan) show the world how it’s done. This is pretty much the only song in either HSM movie so far that actually looks like it belongs in a musical.
Becky: Sharpay may be a scheming, sociopathic diva who’ll cut anyone who gets in her way…but she’s also a talented performer who far outshines her competition. You aren’t supposed to like Sharpay’s version of the song better, but I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t.

1. “Gimme a beat!”
Becky: Come on. If you could employ a minion to provide you a proper strutting beat whenever you exited a room, you would. Don’t lie.
Jess: The world of High School Musical might only be set to music because Sharpay deems it should be so. I would believe this!

« « Countdown to HSM3: Ryan’s Top 10 Gayest Moments | Countdown to HSM3: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Lyrics » »

One Comment

  1. LaLaLand
    March 1, 2009

    I can’t believe nobody commented on this post. Gosh, Sharpay (and Ryan) is as real as anybody can get in the HSM world.

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