Supergirl Saturday: Action Comics #316, “Supergirl’s Choice of Doom!”
|May 23, 2015||Posted by Jess under Comics, Supergirl Saturday|
When we last left our heroine, she was once again torn between two sets of beloved parents (not to mention both of her mothers experiencing alarming psychotic breaks). How will she and her parents ever solve this predicament?
Oh, through liberal amounts of lying and mind games, of course. Come on, this is the Silver Age!
That’s a great cover, and totally accurate to the story inside for once. I love Superman’s pose and expression. Hilarious and wonderfully evocative. Just great all around.
I wouldn’t want to look at that weird thing either, Supergirl. Yikes.
Our story picks up with the Els realizing that perhaps isolating their daughter in a rocky fortress wasn’t the best move:
Shortly thereafter, as they’re fiddling around with various Kryptonian devices (like you do):
At first, the life the Els see is a delightful one, full of love and planet-saving. But then:
“You’d be frightened too, Kara, if you could see how weirdly phallic and Freudian this thing is!”
Anyway, it turns out that when Kara was little, the Zygor attacked the domed Argo City:
The Zygor is so gross, you guys. So gross. You’re with me on this, right? Like, I don’t want to know what body part it’s shooting flame out of.
But that’s in the past. What does the future-predicting machine say the Zygor will do when it comes to Earth?
Lex Luthor: *immediately starts eating red kryptonite*
And thus we get the scenario promised by the cover:
Supergirl begs the Zygor not to force her to kill one of her relatives, and he shows her “mercy”: she can pick which one of them to kill. Superman and Zor both promptly tell her to pick them so that the other may survive, and Kara, in a torment, throws a switch:
So of course, the only way to prevent this terrible fate is for the Els to return to Kandor, and the Danverses to return to Earth. And I guess Allura just…won’t go crazy this time? It’s not really explained.
“Remember, you’ll visit us often in Kandor. And maybe it wouldn’t kill you to call once in a while. What? Passive aggressive? Of course not!”
And that wraps that up! Boy, it sure worked out well for the Danverses that the future threat of the Zygor forced the Els back into the bottle…or did it?
In the Silver Age, love is expressed via elaborate lies designed to manipulate your emotions. As is hate. And mild curiosity. And “eh, I didn’t have anything else to do this Wednesday.” Truly, a magical time!