Supergirl Saturday: Action Comics #314, “Supergirl’s Tragic Ordeal!” and #315, “The Menace of Supergirl’s Mother!”
|May 16, 2015||Posted by Jess under Comics, Supergirl Saturday|
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN THE SUPERGIRL TRAILER? I’m freaking out, y’all. It looks wonderful. Is it November yet???
In honor of my girl’s glorious debut on the small screen, it’s time for another Supergirl Saturday! We’ve got more parent drama this week, so I hope Ms. Slater and Mr. Cain are taking notes:
Didn’t we resolve this just a few issues ago?
Our story begins with Allura gravely ill for totally real reasons:
Zor-El tries to snap her out of it, but Allura is basically going around the bend from The Sads:
Like. Oh my God. What even?
Luckily, Zor’s able to handle this delicate situation with the sensitivity required:
I can’t decide what I love most about this. Is it what a jerk Zor is? Is it the doctor’s outfit, or his brilliant medical conclusion? Is it the dude with the puffy sleeves lounging on a divan as he croons an emergency broadcast (THE HOT-BEAM OMG) into a pussywillow? Yeah, it’s definitely Puffy Sleeves.
Kara’s on a time-trip, but the message is received by one of her robots…and the Danverses, who are horrified to learn that the woman who sacrificed so much for them is suffering so greatly. Kara must be reunited with her biological parents, they decide, but how to convince her?
Well, this is the Silver Age, so cruel manipulation is clearly the way to go:
This goes on for a while, but eventually Linda overhears what’s behind it:
Since Linda is marginally less of a lunatic than everyone around her, she decides to try to solve the problem by, like, asking questions and being honest with people. Specifically, she asks some Kandorian experts if her parents can come out of the bottle and is informed that to do so on a permanent basis, they’d have to do a one-to-one switch with other people so that the mass inside and outside the bottle remains consistent (or something. it’s not very scientifically sound).
Turns out the Danverses are happy to trade places with the Els, if it means making Linda happy:
And out come the Els, to start a new life with Kara – a life that doesn’t require a secret identity:
I will never stop laughing at the robotic way Linda’s dear friends Dick, Lena, Short Unnamed Girl, and Silhouetted Person of Indeterminate Gender say goodbye to her. You can tell their hearts are breaking.
Kara is happy to be with the Els again, of course, but she misses the Danverses. And meanwhile:
What’s the doctor’s solution? Oh, giving them a daughter who looks exactly like Linda. What the hell is wrong with Kryptonians?
What will happen next??? Probably no one will TOTALLY LOSE THEIR MIND, right?
Oh. Well, sure.
Our story begins with Edna still hung up on Linda, though she makes a valiant effort to love her new adopted daughter:
But the Danverses’ happiness with Dar-Lin is short-lived:
Dar-Lin’s parents never came back, and were presumed dead. But are they???
Nah, they’re fine – and once rescued, of course they want Dar-Lin back. Edna sinks further into drugs, despair, and aquarium trips:
Gee, I wonder if Edna’s going to get stung by the Srang and attack the Els? OF COURSE SHE IS:
Of course, the “anti-Kryptonite device” is a trap:
Luckily for the Els, however, Supergirl happens by at that precise moment. She can’t approach the kryptonite, of course, but she can use her heat vision to melt the stone (???) beneath it:
Edna being carried off by a dozen tiny Supergirls is freaking HILARIOUS and I love it. What an image.
But of course, this wasn’t really Edna’s fault, as Kara soon learns:
In conclusion, women have only a tenuous grasp on reality and fall completely to pieces when their reason for living – mothering – is taken away, while fathers remain basically totally fine. SIGH.
ANYWAY. How will Kara solve this terrible dilemma? Will it involve some kind of elaborate manipulation? Is there a reason she’s only wearing an earring in her right ear? Find out next week!!!