Supergirl Saturday: Action Comics #307, “Supergirl’s Wedding Day!”
|November 29, 2014||Posted by Jess under Comics, Supergirl Saturday|
Hey there! Have you been missing an icky Supergirl romance since the last one almost a whole month ago? Well, have I got good news for you, then. I guess.
You know, my biggest question here isn’t who is Tor-An and how will Kara get out of this, but does anyone remember that Kara is sixteen?
Yeah, nothing creepy about what you’re doing there, Jerro.
Our story begins with Supergirl entertaining an assembled crowd in Midvale. Unbeknownst to her, the prisoners trapped in the Phantom Zone are planning to use the show for their own purposes:
Okay, Tor-An is clearly already an A+ villain.
He escapes from the Zone and heads to the Fortress so that he can use the Phantom Zone projector to free the other criminals, but the Superman robots in the Fortress manage to thwart him. However, he’s got an even more nefarious backup plan:
“Most of his clothes” makes me laugh so hard.
And what campaign is Tor-An talking about? Well, Linda starts receiving presents from a secret admirer – space-y presents:
Linda gets her answers very soon:
The fact that Tor-An has decided to pose as Linda’s teacher in order to seduce her, and NO ONE THINKS THIS IS WEIRD, horrifies me. “Linda, will you remain after class to help me with an experiment?” OKAY, STING.
Anyway, Tor-An gives her a whole song and dance about being a survivor of Krypton, whatever:
STOP SWOONING, YOU ARE SUPERGIRL. Also that is clearly Edna and not Alura. Wrong mother, Jim Mooney (I think)!
This gross, deceptive, inappropriate romance proceeds rapidly and soon Tor-An is meeting Linda’s parents:
HE IS NOT HER OWN AGE, EDNA. HE IS HER TEACHER. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, SERIOUSLY. Honestly, that bothers me so much more than the fact that he’s a supervillain.
Soon wedding bells are ringing, or wedding snarfloos are binglebonging, or whatever they say on Krypton:
Not only is Linda rushing into things WITH HER TEACHER, but romance is making her silly girl head all silly:
LOL SHE ALMOST KILLED PEOPLE BECAUSE SHE’S IN LOVE! SILLY GIRL! I am very angry at this comic.
Also, why would she assume HER HORSE resents her fiance unless she knows on some level that her horse wants to date her? I’m so troubled by all of this.
Anyway, she agrees to hold off on the wedding until Superman returns – but Tor-An has a robot Superman he created show up, thus seemingly fulfilling that particular requirement, and the wedding gets underway:
But all is not lost!
Wow, Krypton has some archaic divorce laws.
I am really surprised that no company is already marketing “make-up chemicals of the future.”
But how did this little switcharoo come about?
This story’s one redeeming feature for me is that it’s actually a concerted effort by Lori and Imra that gets through to Linda. Female friendship for the win! Sisters doing it for themselves! That boy is no good!
But why did Tor-An disappear?
But…a Kryptonite cage would kill him, right? Yeah, he’s definitely dead now.
I do love that Linda’s reaction to the whole thing is, “Eh, oh well.” Use ‘em up and throw ‘em away, girl. Also, do not marry any of the people the narration box is suggesting, they are very inferior. #brainy #jimmy #mon-el #seriouslyalmostanyoneelse