Supergirl Saturday: Action Comics #60, “Lois Lane – Superwoman!”
|November 8, 2014||Posted by Jess under Comics, Supergirl Saturday|
We’re going way back this time, guys – all the way to the Golden Age!
Kara Zor-El was the first recurring character to use the name “Supergirl,” but DC – well, National – had been experimenting with female characters with Superman’s powers since 1943. And the obvious first choice was one Ms. Lois Lane:
I love the mildly annoyed expression on Superman’s face.
Our story begins with some EXTRAORDINARILY dapper business wear:
Lois calls Clark a spineless worm pretty much every day (entirely justified – as far as she knows, he is a spineless worm), so I’m not sure where his confusion about her feelings is coming from. So basically this scenario basically went:
Man: DO U LIKE ME CHECK 1: YES/NO
Woman: Uh, no.
Man: WOMEN R SO CONFUSING WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? MAYBE IT IS YES???????
Woman: *runs into street in hurry to get away from man, is hit by truck*
Then again, at least Clark realizes this is kind of his fault? And also I guess he might have been legitimately confused about Lois’s feelings, considering she did match her outfit to his.
Anyway, a guilt-stricken Clark rushes Lois to the hospital, then flies off at top speed to get the world’s finest surgeon to see to her treatment. And here’s where things get weird:
The blood transfusion thing would be used approximately nine billion times by multiple companies, most notably Marvel with She-Hulk, but I think this is the first appearance of the gimmick. Anyway I’d like to draw your attention to Lois’s hair, still perfect after getting hit by a truck and receiving a life-saving blood transfusion.
Lois is right, because Perry is not the least bit sympathetic when he hears about her adventures:
I love that Lois thinks Perry’s being perfectly reasonable here. That girl loves her job.
(Okay, I’ll stop with the gifs.)
Anyway, Lois soon discovers that she has super strength…but, this being 1943, there are limits:
Sigh. SIGH. Especially since Lois spends much of her time slugging gangsters and flying planes into tornados and stuff. It wasn’t super-blood that gave her boundless courage.
Lois quickly discovers that she has the full suite of superpowers, which of course means it’s time for crimefighting:
The heart logo is a little too cutesy (and totally out of character for our gal Lois), but those floppy gloves give it a delightfully swashbuckling appearance.
Still, stylish as she may be, Superwoman’s first outing doesn’t quite go as planned:
Whee, domestic abuse! Wah-wah-waaah.
However, the next fracas Lois comes across passes her criteria for “real crime”:
Knitting socks absolutely sucks, so I can confirm Lois’s verdict here.
And who has she just rescued?
Wow, what are the odds?
Also, this is the best.
But Clark turns out to be kind of shitty, even in the face of Lois’s best pin-up girl pose:
Lois terrorizes Clark into promising to keep her secret, deposits him on the ground, and flies off – but she’s hit with a ray that knocks her unconscious. She awakes in the lair of the evil Dr. Skowl to find that he’s also captured Superman:
You bet your ass she can save you, Superman.
Having defeated Dr. Skowl, Lois gets down to brass tacks:
If I ever gain the powers of time travel, I will go back to the 1940s and record all of my favorite actresses saying Lois’s delightfully convoluted lines in those first two paragraphs, just so I can hear that patter in those voices. Ginger Rogers! Myrna Loy! Katharine Hepburn! Rosalind Russell! It will be glorious.
Also, wow, Clark is a dick. (I should note that it’s consistent throughout the Silver Age that even though Lois is constantly trying to prove that Clark is Superman, it’s never for the purposes of getting a scoop – she just wants to be proved right. Even Superman knows that. Lois Lane is a paragon of journalistic ethics, and don’t you forget it.)
Or perhaps Clark is only a dick in Lois’s head, because:
It was all a dream! (Note: post-brain surgery hair, still #flawless.) Luckily, Lois is totally fine. I’d also like to point out this bit of cuteness: Superman flew off to fetch the doctor, changed back to Clark, and then just sat there the whole time, waiting for Lois to wake up. ADORBZ. I mean, it was kind of his fault, but still.
Will Lois ever get superpowers again? Like, maybe a million times? Only time will tell! (But yes. Yes, she will.)