Supergirl Saturday: Action Comics #269, “Supergirl’s First Romance!” and #276, “The War Between Supergirl and the Supermen Emergency Squad!” and “Supergirl’s Three Super Girl-Friends!”
|January 11, 2014||Posted by Jess under Comics, Supergirl Saturday|
Oh boy, you guys – time for Supergirl to get her romance on! These issues introduce Supergirl’s first and second “boy-friends,” while also officially initiating Supergirl into the Legion of Super-Heroes. (Well, technically Supergirl’s first love interest, Dick Wilson/Malverne, has already been introduced, but he’s still just in “pest” mode. Wait until he sees her in a bathing suit.)
Here, have a literal splash page! ZING. Seriously, though, how could she possibly tear herself away from a guy who’s managed to wear panties over his fishtail?
Speaking of Dick Malverne, he’s been replaced in this issue by another nosy parker named Freddy Blake. Linda comes up with a pretty pathetic excuse for her speed (“Don’t you know people often do the impossible under great stress!”) but he’s unconvinced.
Later, some of the orphans charter a fishing boat, but Linda decides to stay in. That is, until trouble springs up:
Why is that last caption a question!?
Anyway, naturally Supergirl flies to the rescue, pushing a Coast Guard boat over to where the fishing boat is floundering (ZING AGAIN):
While Supergirl’s underwater, she’s telepathically contacted by Lori Lemaris, Superman’s college girlfriend, who is a mermaid. “Superman’s college girlfriend the mermaid” might be my single most favorite thing about comics ever. I don’t know. There’s a lot of competition. But the college mermaid girlfriend thing is pretty great.
“And I am Jerro, a scientists’ son!” Good thing vagueness and incorrect use of apostrophes get Linda hot, I guess.
seriously though how do those panties work
Even though the weapons are child’s play for Supergirl to dismantle, she still admires Jerro:
I do like that Jerro’s not threatened by strong women.
Anyway, the peril over, Jerro shows Supergirl the wonders of Atlantis while the other merfolk prepare a festival in her honor, and teen romance blossoms:
And then, as is typical for Supergirl, something happens that is kind of awesome but mostly horrifying and isolating:
Silver Age DC comics don’t often accurately capture teen angst, but in this case, OH GOD THAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING EVER. I’d super-swim away too.
Anyway, back at the orphanage Linda has another pointless encounter with Freddy Blake, but we’re all really here for dramatically-posed be-nightgowned sighing, so here you go:
Aw, Linda, you cutie.
But Jerro isn’t the only man in Linda’s life; no, Silver Age Supergirl has not one but four “boy-friends,” and here comes #3. (The horse will come later. Never fear, I will talk about the horse in great detail.)
First, though, Action Comics #276 features Supergirl not just in the backup feature, but in the main one, and the cover. Rock on with your bad self, Linda!
Our first story begins with Clark and Lois on assignment, covering the imminent death of philanthropist John Kiley. Kiley asks to speak to Clark privately:
And who is that man?
Finally at peace, Kiley dies. As he and Lois are leaving the house, Clark remembers that he forgot to turn on the security system at the Fortress, makes his excuses, and heads up north, where he says a quick hello to the denizens of the Bottle City of Kandor, particularly the Supermen Emergency Squad:
Man, how many secret weapons does one guy have? If the SES is on it, why does he need to force Supergirl to keep herself hidden? Oh, right, because he’s a manipulative, selfish asshole. I almost forgot.
Anyway, he’s not as smart as he thinks he is, because:
Turns out Kiley is the secret head of the Anti-Superman Gang, and has a big stockpile of kryptonite saved up for just this occasion. He stages a mine collapse and when Superman investigates, traps him inside with a krypto-boulder.
Luckily, Kandor is watching. Clark tells them to fetch Supergirl, and together they spray the kryptonite with green, lead-filled paint:
But how to convince Kiley that Clark’s not Superman? The answer, as always, is mind games:
Unconscious and confused, the bad guys are rounded up. All that’s left is for Superman to get in one last controlling dig at Supergirl:
Screw you, dude.
Anyway, enough of that guy. Time for a Supergirl story!
The backup begins with Linda sadly wishing that she had a ladybro she could confide in:
As she’s musing to herself, she’s beckoned – as Supergirl – by a telepathic voice. She switches to her costume and follows the voice’s instructions, and finds…a weird creeper in a lead mask. Really.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IMRA. (Spoiler. Sorry. But seriously, Linda, do you not remember costumes from one week to the next?)
But there’s still one more girl to go:
The others, for those new to the Legion, are Phantom Girl and Triplicate Girl. You’ll note how they’ve dropped the conceit that Supergirl’s Legion buddies are the children of the original Legion, thankfully.
Anyway, the girls invite Supergirl to try to join the Legion again, and she gladly agrees. Which means…it’s back to the future!
What? Who could this mysterious new applicant be?
GASP! IT’S A DESCENDANT OF BRAINIAC! WHOSE FACE IS BLUE SOMETIMES I GUESS!
Supergirl puts her suspicions aside to concentrate on the audition, where she uses her powers to dig up treasures from the past. But she finds a greater treasure: the revelation that Brainy is a self-sacrificing dreamboat, ready to take his clothes off at any opportunity:
Naturally, Supergirl and Brainy are chosen as the new additions to the League, with great pomp and circumstance:
You guys, Brainy is SO. CUTE. Definitely preferably to the fish or the horse.
Oh, and speaking of the fish:
Alas, Supergirl’s invulnerability to kryptonite is only temporary, as the force shield is broken by a meteor fragment on the next page. Still, it was nice while it lasted. And she’s got something more important than a force shield: HUNKS.