The Extremely Ill-Advised Arrow Project: Episode 1.14 – “The Odyssey”
|October 7, 2013||Posted by Jess under Comics, Television, The Extremely Ill-Advised Arrow Project|
We open just before the end of the last episode, with Ollie crashing through Moira’s window. “Moira Queen: you have failed this city!” he tells her. She reaches for the phone; he shoots it off her desk and she shrinks back against the wall with a little squeak of terror. “Please don’t kill me,” she begs, backing up.
“Do you know anything about your husband’s disappearance?” he asks. “IS WALTER STEELE STILL ALIVE?” “I don’t know where my husband is, I swear!” she says. “Do you know anything about the Undertaking?” he asks.
She grabs for a framed photo of Ollie and Thea on her desk and sinks to her knees. “I’m a mother,” she pleads tearfully. “I have a son, Oliver, and a daughter. Her name is Thea. She’s just a teenager, please don’t take me from my children. They lost their father. They can’t lose me too. Please, whoever you are, please.”
“Okay,” Ollie says, and lowers the bow. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
Moira reaches into the safe next to her, pulls out a gun, and shoots his ass.
Ollie drops, wounded. Moira crawls to her cell phone and calls for security, then tremblingly pulls herself to her feet to look over the desk. Ollie’s gone, but there’s a pool of blood on the floor. MOIRA QUEEN, YOU ARE APTLY NAMED, BECAUSE YOU RULE MY HEART. <3 <3 <3 ARROW! Parking garage. Felicity gets into her car - and finds the Hood bleeding out on the backseat. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Felicity,” he gasps. “How do you know my name?” she asks. He puts back his hood: “Because you know my name.” “Oliver. Oh, wow. Everything about you just became so unbelievably clear,” she says. She realizes he’s bleeding and starts to take him to the hospital, but he tells her to go to the old Queen factory instead. “You need a doctor, not a steel worker,” she says, but he makes her promise to go to the factory.
Arrowcave. Diggle is watching a news story on Ollie’s “attack” on Moira when Felicity says “Excuse me?” He whirls around, pointing a gun at her. She’s covered in blood and clearly freaking out. “Can you help me? He’s really heavy.”
Diggle and Felicity wheel Ollie over to the medical supplies on a gurney (presumably after carrying him down the stairs). Diggle examines the bullet wound in Ollie’s shoulder; it’s bad. Felicity berates herself for not taking him to a hospital and Diggle tells her she did right: “The police would want to know how and why he got that wound.” “I’m guessing ‘how’ and ‘why’ are Oliver Queen’s least favorite questions,” she says. “Yeah, well, there’s also ‘when’ and ‘where’ he’s not too fond of,” Diggle says. I need you two to make out and make fun of Ollie pretty much all the time.
Felicity gradually realized that they’re going to have to patch Ollie up themselves as Diggle pulls out a fresh pack of blood. Ollie, did you steal that from a blood bank, because if so fuck you. Diggle pulls on gloves and bends over the wound, explaining that he has medical training from the army. “You ever play Operation when you were a kid?” “Yes,” Felicity says, pulling on her own gloves, “but it never made me wanna throw up.”
Diggle reaches over Ollie and puts a hand on her arm: “Hey, Felicity, Felicity, trust me: you’ll be fine, he’s been through a lot worse than this.”
Flashback. Ollie and Slade practice fighting in a field. Ollie takes a swing and Slade pins him to the ground with a knife at his throat: “Dead.” They spar with sticks and Slade knocks him down: “How did you survive here for six months?” He was in that cave for six months? Why hasn’t he needed to shave?
“I know Girl Scouts who have more fight in them,” Slade continues. “Fighting Girl Scouts now, Slade?” Ollie asks with a grin and Slade hits him with a stick. Hee. Slade tells him they only have 10 days until the supple plane lands so he needs to get it together. Ollie’s wig bristles indignantly.
After another failed attempt at attacking Slade, Ollie starts yelling that this is pointless, that the other guys have guns and Ollie’s little bamboo stick isn’t going to do much against them. Slade holds out his gun: “Jam this in my face.” Whoa, you two. Ollie does – and Slade elbows him in the kidneys, disarms him, and flips him to the ground. Yeah, okay, Slade, but you only have 10 days and some of those soldiers with guns won’t be in kidney-elbowing distance.
“Okay, I give up!” Ollie says. Slade hauls him to his feet: “There is no giving up to these guys! No crying or buying your way out of it! You have two choices: escape or die. Choose.” “Escape,” Ollie says. “Let me show you how not to die,” Slade says, and tosses him a staff.
In the plane, they look at maps of the island. Slade points out Fyers’ main camp and Ollie asks if they should try to get a message to Yao Fei. Slade tells him to forget about Yao Fei. He goes on to say that there at 10 soldiers guarding the airstrip at any given time. “Too many of them for ya?” Ollie chuckles. “No,” Slade says. Ollie’s face falls. Hee!
Anyway, the problem is an air traffic controller tower with bulletproof glass. While Slade takes out the others, Ollie will have to get into the tower and take down the man inside. “Are you ready for that?” Slade asks. “Do you think I’m ready?” Ollie asks. “What I think is there is only one supply plane every three months. We leave tomorrow or we die soon afterwards. I pick leaving,” Slade says. Ollie nods.
He sits down on his bunk and gazes at his picture of Laurel. “Don’t worry,” Slade says. “You’ll be back with your girlfriend soon enough.” Ollie lies down and closes his eyes…
…into a deeper flashback, or maybe a dream, of waking up in bed with Laurel. “Please tell me you hate me,” he says. “Why would I hate you?” she asks. “For cheating on you with Sara,” he says. A dream, then. “Did it hurt, Ollie?” she asks. “When they killed you?” A bullet wound appears in his forehead.
Back in the plane, Ollie jerks awake. Slade tosses him his gear and contemplates the Deathstroke mask before putting it back. “Come on. We’re moving out.”
They trek through the forest, Ollie panting along behind Slade. He steps on something and there’s a click. They both freeze. “Is it a mine?” Ollie asks. Slade very dramatically drops to the ground and sweeps away the dirt under Ollie’s foot to find: a mine. He says it’s probably Japanese, left over from WWII. Ollie’s face is like WHY DOES EVERYTHING ON THIS ISLAND AND EVERY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WANT TO KILL ME and it’s pretty hilarious.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, three soldiers appear. Slade grabs the supplies and hides, much to Ollie’s irritation. Ollie pulls on his balaclava as they approach. One of them asks him – with a surprisingly American accent – why he’s so far from camp and Ollie says he got separated from his unit. He points out the mine and they bend down to look at it – and Slade leaps from the bushes, yelling wildly, and kills them all with his sword.
One’s fallen directly in front of Ollie’s foot. “Be still,” Slade says, and rolls the body forward, knocking Ollie off the mine and replacing him with the dead body. It works, but they both look pretty terrified.
The airstrip. Yao Fei enters Fyers’ tent and eyes the gun on his desk. Fyers says he wants Yao to train his men in archery. THIS IS SO DUMB. Look, all other things being equal, gun beats bow. Gun beats stick. GUN BEATS EVERYTHING EXCEPT BIGGER GUN. It’s not the archery that makes Slade better than Ollie or Yao Fei better than average soldiers, it’s the being badass part. Yao says archery can take years to master, and Fyers says he’d better get cracking then.
Yao starts to leave and Deathstroke walks in. “I hope you are steadfast in your commitment to our cause, Yao Fei,” Fyers says. “For her sake.” “I am,” Yao says, and leaves. WHAT CAUSE? Your job was to kill the prisoners on the island, and you’ve caught the last one! GO HOME.
Elsewhere, Ollie tries to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together while Slade mocks him: “You’d better hurry, because the wolves come out at night.” “There are wolves here?” Ollie asks. “Right, of course there are, because what would the worst place on Earth be without wolves?” He asks for help with the fire and Slade takes out a lighter. “Seriously?” Ollie says as Slade lights the fire. “I’ve been working on this for two hours.” “I know, I was watching you. Thank you for the entertainment,” Slade says. I enjoy Slade, you guys.
Later, the fire’s burning steadily and Ollie’s looking at the Laurel picture again. Slade tells him Laurel will be waiting for him when he gets home and Ollie says he doubts it and explains about Sara. “That’s funny. I never took you for being the bad boy,” Slade says. Ollie says he has to get home and make it right, and Slade says, “If you think you can sleep with your girlfriend’s sister and ‘make it right,’ you’re dumber than I thought, and believe me, that is saying something.” Hee, but also I thought Ollie wanted to right Robert’s wrongs? And in present day he hasn’t been all that invested in patching things up with Laurel (well, I mean, she forgave him pretty randomly, but still).
Slade says everyone’s out for themselves: “You remember I told you that I had a partner? You remember the guy who tortured you?” Yeah, Ollie remembers. “His name’s Billy Wintergreen,” Slade says, because the writers are determined to break me when it comes to all permutations of Deathstroke on this show. (Non comics readers: Wintergreen is…basically Slade “Deathstroke” Wilson’s Alfred. Not his partner, not an evil torturer – he’s a much nicer guy than Slade, actually – and, like Slade, not Australian.) Slade explains that their mission was to extract Yao Fei and find out what Fyers wanted with him, but they were shot out of the sky. Wait, that’s Slade’s plane he’s living in? Shouldn’t Wintergreen know where that is?
Anyway, Fyers took Slade and Wintergreen prisoner and offered them a chance to join him. Is he Captain Hook? What the hell. Obviously Wintergreen accepted. “He was the godfather to my son Joe, and yet he turned his back on me, without ever thinking twice about it,” Slade says. Oh man, Joey’s canon in this universe? Are Grant and Rose running around somewhere too?
Night. Slade and Ollie squat just outside the airfield. Slade gives Ollie a sword and tells him to take out the guy in the control tower. They split up.
Present day. Diggle pulls the stitches tight in Ollie’s wound: “His heartbeat’s elevated but at least the bleeding’s stopped.” He thanks Felicity for her help and she babbles something about always wondering how she’d react to finding her boss shot and bleeding in her car. He smiles fondly at her. Guys, I really want them to get married.
Diggle asks why she’s not more surprised. “Oliver brought me a laptop riddled with bullet holes, had me trace a black arrow, and research a company involved in armored car heists,” she points out. “I may be blonde, but not that blonde.” I LOVE HER. Diggle admits Ollie’s not too good at cover stories and she laughs and says he’s not either: “The two of you with that whole energy drink hangover cure? Please.”
She asks what was really in the syringes and he tells her it was Vertigo, which they needed analyzed to take down the Count. “That was you and Oliver?” she asks. “And you, Felicity,” he says. “Without you we never would’ve found him.” Really? Because the cops got there all right without her. I think maybe Ollie is just dumb. “Why come to me?” Felicity asks. Diggle sits down next to Ollie: “Hard as it probably is for him to admit, even Oliver needs help sometimes.”
Flashback. Slade takes out the first of the ten soldiers guarding the airstrip and Ollie scrambles to keep out of sight. Slade shoots down two more, Ollie stands up to run over to the control tower – and comes face to face with another soldier. He freezes – and Slade shoots the soldier. Ollie scurries off to the tower.
There’s a soldier patrolling the stairs leading to it. Ollie waits and Slade shoots that soldier as well. How is the guy inside supposed to not notice any of this? Slade shoots Soldier #6 and Ollie creeps up the stairs to the tower. He peers inside to see the control tower dude happily looking at his radar and sonar or whatever and not noticing all the gunshots and corpses outside.
Slade takes out the last four soldiers with his sword. If he’s this good, I don’t see why he needs Ollie.
Ollie eases the door to the control tower open and sneaks in. He runs at the soldier at the control panel – but the soldier hears him and stands up, dodging Ollie’s clumsy attacks. He knocks the sword out of Ollie’s hand and pulls a gun. Ollie tries the disarming trick Slade used on him earlier, but totally and hilariously fails. Even the soldier’s face is like “Player, please.”
Present day. Ollie starts twitching and shaking on the gurney and Diggle and Felicity rush over to him. Diggle tells Felicity to get out a medicine that’ll stop the seizure, but before she can, Ollie flatlines. “I’m calling 911,” Felicity declares. “No, you can’t,” Diggle says, and reaches for the Arrowcave’s at-home do-it-yourself pocket defibrillator. “You know how to use one of those?” Felicity asks as he preps it. “We are about to find out,” he replies.
He lowers the pads to Ollie’s chest. “You didn’t say clear!” Felicity says. Hee. Nothing happens, but Felicity’s on the case. She pulls a tool out of the medical supplies and fiddles with the machine: “Try again.” “Clear,” Diggle says this time, and puts the pads down again. Ollie’s body jerks with the charge, but his heart doesn’t start. He tries a third time – and this time Ollie’s heart starts again.
With a relieved sigh, Diggle puts the pads down. “What the hell did you do?” he asks. “I’ve been building computers since I was seven,” Felicity says. “Wires are wires. What do we do now?” “Pray we don’t have a heart attack ourselves,” Diggle says, and pats Ollie’s chest like he’s been a good dog. Hee.
Flashback. The soldier holding Ollie at gunpoint reaches for the radio – and Slade stabs him in the back. “You had one job to do, and you managed to screw up even that,” Slade says, but he’s smiling. He tells Ollie to hold the tower while he makes sure everything’s clear and hands him the gun. Ollie holds it like it’s a dead thing for a minute before putting it down.
His gaze falls on the telephone, and he picks it up and dials. After a couple of rings, Laurel answers: “Hello?” Ollie claps a hand over his mouth, aw, and we get a shot of Law School Laurel with extra long hair. Hmm, or maybe just Undergrad Laurel? Whichever. “Hello?” she says again. “Is anybody there?”
Ollie’s maybe about to say something when Slade yanks the phone out of the wall, disconnecting him. “Have you lost your mind?” he asks. “They might be monitoring the calls.” Suddenly the pilot of the supply plane radios in with an ETA of three hours. Slade picks up the radio and acknowledges the pilot.
“Of all creatures that breathe and move upon the earth,” the pilot replies. Slade tells Ollie that it’s a “challenge code – they’re trying to verify our identity.” He asks the pilot to repeat the code, and as he does Ollie’s eyes widen. “I know this. They picked the one book that I read in college…It’s a quote from the Odyssey. ‘Of all creatures that breathe and move upon the earth, nothing…nothing is born that is weaker than man.’” Aw, he looks so proud of himself, and Slade looks amazed that Ollie actually knows a thing. Confession: I like Flashback Ollie a lot more than Regular Ollie.
Slade’s about to give them the code when Ollie hastily corrects himself “Wait, wait, wait! It’s ‘bred.’ ‘Nothing is bred that is weaker than man.’” Man, he memorized the crap out of that one particular translation of the Odyssey, huh? Slade gives the pilot the code. “Roger that. See you in a few hours,” the pilot says, and Slade sags with relief: “The Odyssey.” “Yeah,” Ollie says with a triumphant little laugh. “Well, it’s a story about a guy who’s trying to get home, so.”
Slade caps that triumph by telling Ollie that after they’re on the plane, he’ll radio in an airstrike on the island: “I’m gonna send Fyers and all his men straight back to Hell.” Ollie tells him he can’t: “Yao Fei is still out there.” Slade tells him the mission’s changed: “Edward Fyers is a mercenary, and he is not on this island by mistake. He has plans for Lian Yu that involve Yao Fei, and whatever they are, they must end.” I don’t think the writers know what a mercenary is. Who is paying Fyers, and to do what?
“Yao Fei saved my life,” Ollie says. “That is your debt to repay, not mine,” Slade replies. Ollie says he’s been selfish all his life, but he can’t leave Yao Fei to die and is going to get him. Slade tells him that if he’s not back by the time the plane gets there, Slade’s leaving without him, and Ollie agrees, but asks Slade to call his family and tell them what happened. “Sure, kid,” Slade says.
Present day. Ollie seemingly flatlines again and Diggle and Felicity run to his side – but the leads just came loose. Felicity tucks them back in and the monitor starts beeping quietly again. “AUGH!” Diggle yells. “It’s less stressful when he’s jumping off rooftops.”
Felicity picks up Ollie’s bow and notes that it’s put arrows in a lot of people. “Bad people,” Diggle clarifies. “That doesn’t bother you?” she asks. “‘Cause, and I mean this in a good way, you seem like the kind of guy it would bother.” Diggle tells her that when he was in Afghanistan, he had to protect this really slimy, awful warlord, and one day they were attacked by insurgents. They defended the warlord and killed all the insurgents, some of whom were really young. “I killed this kid to protect this human piece of garbage and I thought, am I still good? Am I still a good man? Doing this with Oliver, doing what we do, I feel good again, for the first time in a long time.”
“And that’s worth all the…collateral damage?” she asks. “I haven’t killed anyone, if that’s what you’re asking,” Diggle says. “But he has,” she points out. “Unfortunately,” Diggle says, “there are always casualties when you’re fighting a war.” Siiiigh. This isn’t a war, though, and Ollie is good enough to disarm most of the people he kills. I just hate this.
Flashback. Ollie sneaks up to Fyers’ camp. Put on your balaclava, Oliver. He sees Yao entering a tent and ducks in after him. Yao’s shocked and not terribly pleased to see Ollie, who tells him, “I found Slade Wilson and he has a way off the island, but we have to go now.” Yao refuses, to Ollie’s shock. “What reason could you possibly have for staying here?” he asks. “Not what,” Yao says, “who.”
Fyers walks in, and Yao quickly punches Ollie in the face. “Mr. Queen, I think it’s past time you left this island,” Fyers says. “Permanently.” Deathstroke hoves into view as well.
Back at the airstrip, the plane is about to land. Slade looks at his watch in the universal symbol for “Where the hell is he?”
At the camp, Yao pushes Ollie, who has his hands tied behind his back, into the center of a circle of soldiers. Fyers asks how he survived and Ollie says Yao must not be as strong as he looks. He asks why Ollie is trying to be a hero and Ollie insists that he’s not. “No, of course not,” Fyers says. “It’s not possible to be a hero when there’s nobody worthy of saving.”
Fyers tells him he’s to be executed and Yao apologizes. Deathstroke comes up behind Ollie. “It’s Wintergreen, right?” Ollie says. “Bill Wintergreen?” Deathstroke backhands him across the face. Ollie says he used to stand for something and Deathstroke punches him a bunch of times, cuts his bonds, then slashes him across the face with his sword. “Whatever he’s paying you, I’ll triple it,” Ollie says.
Suddenly there’s an explosion behind them. Everyone except Deathstroke runs for cover as soldiers start dropping and explosions go off everywhere. How is Slade doing this?
Slade strides into the camp. “Slade. Come back to die?” Deathstroke asks in what sounds like an American accent, which doesn’t make any sense. CUE AWESOME FIGHT SCENE.
Slade emerges triumphant. He grabs Deathstroke in a headlock and whispers, “You know, Billy, you always had a good kick,” then stabs him in the eye. Ollie looks super grossed out. Deathstroke drops to the ground and it seems like he’s dead, but this is a CW show based on comics so who knows?
As Slade turns towards Ollie, Fyers shoots him and he drops. Ollie grabs Slade’s gun, fires a few rounds to make Fyers duck for cover, then hauls Slade to his feet and helps him out of the camp. They’re stopped by a soldier with a gun; Ollie effortlessly disarms him and holds him at gunpoint for a minute, but he can’t bring himself to pull the trigger, so he knocks him out with the butt of the gun instead.
They both look up at the sound of a plane. “There goes our ride,” Slade says.
Back in the plane, Ollie removes the bullet from Slade’s arm. “I’m impressed. You didn’t puke,” Slade says. “I swallowed it,” Ollie admits. Ew. Slade thanks him and Ollie starts to laugh. “What?” Slade asks. “I’m trapped on an island and my only friend is named Wilson,” Ollie says. Hee.
Slade’s hoping his explosions will affect Fyers’ operations badly enough that his client will call things off. In the meantime, they’ve got to stay alive. Ollie says that Slade said the plane was their only chance of survival. “That dumb kid that I trained? He would never have made it. You?” Slade holds out a hand and Ollie shakes it. “You might just have a chance.”
Fyers answers a call from his employer, a man with an American accent who wants to know why satellites are showing heat flares from the island: “I’ve worked too hard and planned for too long to have complications arise so close to the end.” Nothing can convince me the writers know who is on the other end of that phone call or why.
Fyers hangs up and tells Yao that he made the right call, turning Ollie in, “and for that, I’ll grant you five minutes.” Yao enters a tent and finds a young woman lying on the floor, her hands bound. “Shado!” he says, shaking her awake. Whoa, okay. I guess no one on this island has anything to do with their comic book selves. “Father!” she says in Mandarin when she sees him, and starts crying. “I’m so sorry,” he tells her, also in Mandarin. She asks him what’s happening, but as he embraces her, her expression turns hard and inscrutable, and the camera lingers on a really somewhat-crappy tattoo of a dragon on her shoulder.
Present day. Ollie wakes up and looks at Diggle and Felicity: “I guess I didn’t die. Again. Cool.” Diggle shakes his head in fond exasperation, and Felicity smiles. AWWW TEAM ARROW.
Later, Ollie admires Diggle’s stitching job while Felicity hacks the police crime lab and orders the sample of Ollie’s blood collection from the crime scene destroyed. Also she totally redid his computer setup. “That’s a lot of work,” he says. “Does that mean you’re in?…You’re practically an honorary member of the team already.” “No,” she says. “Then why’d you upgrade my system?” he asks. “First, because seeing a network that poorly set up hurts me. In my soul,” she says. Diggle chuckles. GET MARRIED.
“And second…I want to find Walter,” she continues. “He was nice to me. And Mr. Diggle told me that the notebook you use to fight crime is the same notebook that got Walter abducted. I’ll help you rescue him, but that’s it. Then I want to go back to my boring life of being an IT girl. That’s my offer.” Ollie agrees, and she starts fidgeting. “So I’ve been meaning to ask…” Ollie looks a little apprehensive. “Is there a bathroom? Because I’ve been needing to pee since I got here.” I love you, Felicity.
Ollie sends her upstairs, but not before shaking her hand and thanking her. Diggle waits until she’s out of earshot, then says, “Oliver, I know you don’t want to hurt this girl, and you didn’t have any choice in telling her who you really were, but we’re asking her to get involved in some pretty dangerous stuff.” Ollie says they can protect her. “How?” Diggle asks. “Your mother just shot you, Oliver, you can’t even keep yourself safe.” Hee! Diggle’s still suspicious of Moira, but Ollie still has faith in her, and tells Diggle that Moira begged him to spare her on behalf of her children, which is better than any of the scum he’s taken down managed. He says that until they find out what the Undertaking is, Moira is off limits. Pan around to a dragon tattoo on Ollie’s shoulder. Gasp!
Queen Castle. Moira’s giving Quentin a statement about the Hood attack while Thea listens. Does this city not have any other investigating detectives? Thea demands to know where he was and he makes up something about bad reception at the club. Quentin tells him what happened and Ollie asks if Moira’s okay. Blah blah, lots of stuff we already know. Quentin leaves and Moira tells Ollie she was so scared. Ollie hugs her: “I promise you, he’s never gonna bother you again.”
You know, back when I first watched this I was really glad to get some good solid flashbackery, but now that I know that they didn’t resolve anything in Season 1 and will probably leave a lot of island questions unanswered in Season 2 because they’re making this shit up as they go along, it’s less charming. I do still love Diggle and Felicity hanging out, though. GET MARRIED, YOU TWO.