Super quick, because it’s almost bedtime, and because this was so unsurprising I barely thought to write an entry on it. While flipping channels last week, I came across a recent Comedy Central offering, Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire, a fantasy parody show. I didn’t have high hopes, because most of Comedy Central is really not very funny, but I do enjoy a good fantasy parody, so I paused.

I came in to the show just in time to see the villain regarding the unconscious hero and heroine, demanding that a lackey check to make sure they were really dead. The lackey did. Then the villain — I can’t believe I know the word for this — motorboated the unconscious heroine. Then licked her face. Everyone else looked on uncomfortably as he made his excuses — just double-checking to make sure she was really dead, you see.

Ha ha ha ha. Groping and licking an unconscious woman? Hilarious fun for the whole family!

…and thus, exhausted from having trod these unholy grounds too many times before, our intrepid hero picked up her Magick Device That Doth Change the Channel, and continued in her Quest to Find Something Worth Watching on another network…

Mike Myers’ new vehicle, The Love Guru, comes out this weekend. I know this, though I’m not flocking to the theater, as it looks so incredibly, incredibly bad. But every subway platform and bus in the city is covered in posters for it, so I’ve been accidentally staring at them a lot. Staring in befuddlement, really, wondering when brown face became acceptable.*

But eventually I found something specific to fixate on. The movie’s tagline: “His karma is huge.”

Huh?

See, I know what double entendre is. It’s a phrase with a double meaning; something that can be read in two ways with distinct meanings (and specifically, one of the two meanings is sexual). “His karma is huge,” is not double entendre, because it doesn’t make sense in any way, let alone two. That’s not how karma — or a sentence — works. You wouldn’t say, “His karma is huge,” you’d say, “He has good karma.” Maybe even, “He has a lot of good karma.”

But no: Mike Myers, in his rush to tell us he has a big penis, forgot about the part where a double meaning requires having a primary meaning first. That must be so embarrassing for him! But I guess the movie’s PR machine must have rejected, “The Love Guru: his dick is huge,” for some reason.

Possible other rejected taglines:

The Love Guru: Foreigners sure are wacky!
The Love Guru: Cultural appropri-what now?
The Love Guru: Admit it, you like “My Name Is Earl”
The Love Guru: Justin Timberlake, it’s hard to love you when you do shit like this
The Love Guru: Some of my best friends are Indian, and they think it’s funny!

And my favorite…

The Love Guru: It’s cool, we live in a post-racism society.

* Yeah, okay, I’ve seen the preview and it looks like technically Myers isn’t playing an Indian character, he’s playing a white guy who embodies Indian stereotypes. Which really isn’t much better.